


Forget Me Not

by GonxKilluaLove



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: HxHBB17, Hxhbb2017, M/M, hxhbb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 20:25:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11066481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GonxKilluaLove/pseuds/GonxKilluaLove
Summary: After seeing the pain Killua hid behind fake smiles and phony laughs, Alluka and Nanika take matters into their own hands, erasing the the memories that caused him so much pain. If it meant he would truly be happy again then it was for the best. However such happiness can only last so long. Killua has been keeping a secret. He’s fallen into old habits and his new job means erasing the only thing that made him happy before he rescued his sister. The one thing he can’t remember. Gon.





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> This is my fic for the hxh big bang! Unfortunately, it's not one of my better fics ;w; but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway! I'll post the links to the art at the bottom!

Moonlight shone through the crack between the curtains of the small hotel room, casting a thin stream of light over Alluka’s eyes as she slept. The sheets were ripped from her side of the bed as it shook once more causing the headboard to slam against the wall, finally rousing Alluka from her sleep.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  


The darkness crawled up around Killua, surrounding him as he ran. The wind raced past him as electricity surged through his body urging him on as he flew through the trees. He could see the bright orange light and hear the familiar crash of his best friend’s powers off in the distance, only barely muffled through the forest. He heard the barely stifled rage as his friend let loose into the night. 

He had to get there soon. He should’ve never left him alone. He should’ve run off with him and refused to let him go by himself or at all. He’d made a mistake, and he could only hope he’d make it there in time to fix it. 

With his Godspeed still activated he came to a stop at the edge of a clearing. The figure standing in front of him was unfamiliar but he could feel it. This was his best friend. This was his Gon. He was so different, so big, so… broken… Blue blood was splattered across his tear streaked face as he turned to look at Killua. He raised his bloody fists and whispered his name, calling out to him, almost pleading. 

Killua was frozen in place, brain fuzzed, unsure of what he should do. He reached out to him, to his best friend. He wanted, no needed to help him, but before he could take that next step a figure moved behind Gon. 

It only took one second, one blink, and before he could even process what had happened. Gon had a hole in his chest. One the size of the figure’s missing head. His already dark eyes grew vacant as his body turned away from Killua and broke the already headless body of Pitou.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“No!...” Killua's screamed echoed through the small room.

Alluka slowly opened her eyes to the sight of her older brother’s tear streaked face. A sight that was sadly all too familiar to her now.

Killua kicked again throwing the bed into the wall once more. His body shook with the sobs he let out only in his nightmare as his hands curled in the sheets.  
Pain gripped her heart like it did nearly every night since they left the world tree and parted ways with Gon. It had been nearly three months since then. At first, Alluka thought he’d be okay. He was just sad that he had to part ways with his friend. But now she saw just how bad it really was for him. 

At first, it was just the nightmares. Each night Alluka would wake to him screaming or shaking and always... always crying. She only woke him once before she quickly learned it only hurt him more for her to see him that way. Since then she had pretended to be asleep. Peering at him through the thin sheets or between her eyelashes. 

As the days turned to weeks the shadows under his eyes grew and his skin got paler. It hurt for Alluka to hug him now. He hadn’t been eating either and it showed with every rib and bone Alluka felt when she held onto him. But the worst was that smile. The one he always gave to say he was alright when she knew he certainly wasn’t. It was fake and never quite reached his eyes like he thought it did. She hated it. Nanika hated it too.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  


Gon’s body stood still for only a moment before crashing haphazardly to the ground. The fear and uncertainty cementing killua’s feet in place finally gave way allowing him to move so he could race to Gon’s side. He was a mess, they both were, but Gon’s body was so misshapen and different from the 14-year-old boy Killua knew. He had aged so much in just one day and now there was a hole straight through him. Blood was gushing out of him and pooling around them both, staining Killua’s shins red as he knelt over his friend. 

Gon’s breathing was ragged and shallow, his body stiff and unmoving. But the worst was his eyes, slowly but surely losing any life they had in them until finally, everything came to a stop. It took Killua a moment to realize what had happened. To notice that Gon was gone. It was only when his friend’s body began to shrink back to its normal size that Killua realized he wasn’t breathing.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“G-Gon!” Fresh tears streamed down Killua’s face as he reached out into the open air, electricity sparking at his fingertips before his hand fell back to the bed, fingers hooking back into the sheets. 

Alluka quickly shut her eyes, as Killua shot up gasping for breath. She watched him through her eyelashes as he sat there for a moment, before bringing his shaking hands to his face and burying it in them. He sniffed loudly as he tried to even out his breathing. It took a few minutes, but Alluka watched as his body slowly stopped shaking and his breaths became steady, just as they always did, every night. It was eerie how it seemed as though nothing had happened and Killua hadn’t just been crying a few moments earlier. 

“It hurts.” His voice shook ever so slightly as he slowly pulled his hands away from his face. He took a deep breath, in then out, before he turned to face Alluka. A soft smile graced his tired face as he turned and took in what he believed to be Alluka’s sleeping face. He reached out and slowly stroked her hair before laying back down beside her.

For a moment he watched her. His cute little sister, that he’d do anything for. She was the only reason he hadn’t gone off to who knows where. Instead, they traveled together. Forgetting the things that weighed him down at night as they explored throughout the day visiting new places and old ones, showing her all there was to see. He vowed to he keep her safe forever and everything that entailed. 

Killua closed his eyes as he tried to fight off the images from his dream that always overwhelmed him at night. “I…” He sighed as he clung to the blanket that was draped around him. “I wish I… I could just forget all of it.” He furrowed his brow as he sniffed and pulled the blanket up to cover his mouth.

Alluka stayed silently watching her brother until at last, he had fallen back asleep. The words her brother had sighed rang through her head. If only there was a way for her to make him forget. He would finally be happy again, right?

Slowly Alluka began to fall back asleep beside her brother. Just as sleep was about to overtake her, Nanika spoke to her. “I think there’s a way. A way to make Killua’s wish come true.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Alluka and Nanika had barely slept that night. All that was on their mind was working out a way to make it so their wish could come true. Alluka had never tried to wish for anything from Nanika. She had never wanted anything enough to. But now she did. They did. 

They had only waited in bed until they were sure Killua had fallen back asleep and would stay that way for a while before getting up and making their way into the small bathroom that was joined with the bedroom.

“When you usually ask for requests you have to see them right? And know their name?” Alluka stood in front of the mirror. Her eyes went dark and her face grew paler before another voice graced her lips. 

“Aye.”

Her face quickly returned to normal, “Do you think we can switch fast enough for you to ask me?”

The change was quicker this time, “Aye, Alluka. Practice first.”

The two of them switched back and forth, faster and faster throughout the night. Trying their best to do the switch fast enough for Nanika to request something of Alluka. By the time they had managed to do the first task it was already dawn.

“Alluka?” There was a knock on the bathroom door as Alluka turned on the sink. 

“Yes?” She called over her shoulder as she readied the toothbrush, Her second task being to brush her teeth.

Killua sighed on the other side of the door, “Are you going to be much longer?”

“No, I’m just brushing my teeth!” She quickly brushed her teeth before turning back to the mirror and letting Nanika take over. 

“Alluka, hug Killua!” The voice was speedy as the switch quickly happened allowing Alluka to receive the request.

“Nanika?” Killua called through the door, just as it opened. He could have sworn he had heard Nanika’s voice but it had been so fast he was unsure. 

Killua was immediately enveloped in a hug, his sister snuggled into his chest making him smile. She could feel every bone in his chest and back, but she didn’t shy away this time. She couldn’t, she needed to do this for Killua.

“Alluka? Were you talking to Nanika?” 

Alluka smiled up at her brother, “No?” before letting him go and hurrying out of the bathroom. 

Killua stared after his sister, eyebrows scrunched up, as she skipped back into the bedroom and laid on the bed before turning and making his way into the bathroom. She was acting odd, but Killua decided to ignore it. 

“We did it!” Alluka giggled. 

“Aye.”

“Nanika, I wish we could make brother forget Gon so he’ll stop hurting so much.”

Nanika took over and walked to the door. She waited for only a few minutes before Killua came out.

“Killua.” Nanika smiled at him before reaching out. “Hand.”

“Good morning Nanika.” Killua smiled at them before holding his hand out for them to take.

A blinding light was emitted from Nanika surrounding them both. Killua tried to pull his hand away, but Nanika’s grip was strong and he had grown so very weak.  
“What, What are you do-” The light faded and Killua fell unconscious to the floor with Nanika following soon after.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Killua awoke with a start. The sun was already high in the sky, nearly blinding him through the part in the curtains. He sat up quickly and took in his surroundings. He sighed when he realized he was still in the hotel room. He turned and saw Alluka on the floor beside him. 

“Alluka. Hey.” He shook her shoulder gently as he tried to rouse her, but when she only mumbled in reply, he decided it was best to just move her to the bed and let her sleep. 

It took him longer than he thought it would to move her sleeping form to the bed. He didn’t think she looked like she had gotten any bigger, but for some reason, she felt much heavier than he remembered. He tucked her in and sat at the edge of the bed.

He was so tired, but the rumbling of his stomach urged him to stay awake and find food. He had no idea why he felt so hungry, he felt as though he hadn’t eaten in a week, or slept in that long either. 

Killua sighed as he stood and made his way into the bathroom. He vaguely remembered taking a quick shower this morning, but it was clear he hadn’t done much else. He was shocked when he looked in the mirror and saw his face. He clearly remembered looking into the mirror this morning, but he must have been blind not to see how hollow his cheeks were and how dark the circles under his eyes must have been. He lifted his shirt and almost let out a short scream when he saw every rib poking out. 

He was a mess and he had let Alluka see him like this. How could he expect to protect her when he looked like he was on the verge of death? It was obvious to him now, why it seemed as though Alluka had gotten bigger. She hadn’t, he had only gotten weaker. 

His brain was foggy as he thought back. He could clearly remember skipping meals and waking up in the middle of the night, but he couldn’t remember why he’d done it. It was so stupid of him. He had been upset, but for no clear reason, at least none that he could remember… 

Killua ran his fingers through his hair before turning away from the mirror and heading back out into the bedroom. Maybe he’d hit his head? He had woken up on the floor, after all, Nanika had wanted something too… His hand? He couldn’t remember clearly, but frankly, he didn’t care. All that mattered now was getting back to normal for his sister. He couldn’t let her see him like this anymore. Not when he was supposed to be protecting her and showing her all the things she’d missed out on while locked away. 

Alluka was still fast asleep on the bed. He quietly made his way over to the little hotel’s fridge and opened it. He wasn’t very surprised to see there was nothing other than a bottle of water and a half eaten candy bar he was sure belonged to Alluka. Sighing he closed the fridge and moved back to the bed, turning away from his sister for only a moment to properly close the curtains. 

The dark room was much easier to tolerate with his tired eyes and he was sure was much easier for his sister to sleep in. He was going to have to wait for Alluka to wake up before they could go out to get more food. He thought back and realized they’d probably been in that town much too long too. They’d have to move soon if they wanted to stay safe. For now, he figured he should rest. He was exhausted from all those sleepless nights and those nightmares he couldn’t quite remember.  
A yawn slipped from his lips as he pulled back the blankets and crawled into bed beside his sister. He smiled at her and brushed her bangs out of her face before closing his eyes and finally, for the first time in weeks, drifted off into a peaceful sleep.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Killua awoke again the sun was already setting behind the curtains. The soft noise of the t.v. was playing in the background along with the sound of his sister’s voice humming along to the tune.

Killua slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes, “Alluka?”

“Brother!” Alluka tackled Killua with a hug, making them both fall to the bed. “You’re finally awake! You slept forever!”

Killua laughed as he hugged his sister back, “I didn’t sleep that long did I? What time is it?”

Alluka tried to will back the tears that were forming in the corner of her eyes, but it was proving to be a difficult task. “It’s 6 I think?” She sniffed, “but brother you’ve been out for two whole days!”

There was no way Killua could hide the shock that was plainly painted across his face, “T-Two days???” Killua sat bolt upright, careful not to hurt Alluka in the process, “We were supposed to leave here forever ago. We’ve been here way too long! And what did you eat while I was out? We didn't have anything! Have you eaten at all??”

Laughter poured out of Alluka as she took her brother’s hands in her own, trying her best to calm him. “Brother don’t worry, Nanika brought me food, and no one has tried to come for us yet, we’ll be okay.” She smiled at him and was happy to see the panic melt away from her brother’s face. 

“Oh…” Killua sighed and fell back to the bed, “Thank you Nanika.” He smiled at his sister, a real genuine smile that made Alluka’s heart skip with joy. 

Finally. Finally, his smile was back. It had worked! Or at least they hoped it had. 

“What happened the other day anyway?” Killua shifted onto his side before looking back up at his sister. “All I remember is Nanika asking for my hand and then I woke up on the floor with you.”

“You fainted.” Alluka sat up and frowned. She didn’t like lying to her brother, but she didn’t want to risk him accidentally figuring out what really happened. “Nanika saw that you were looking really sick so they wanted to try to heal you, but I think all you really needed was a lot of sleep cause you slept for a really long time.”

Killua frowned and looked away from Alluka. He knew he was bad by how he looked the other day but had he really been so bad that he would faint like that? He still felt tired and terrible, but there was no way he was going to allow himself to sleep any more than he already had. 

He turned back to Alluka and sat up, “Have you eat-” His stomach growled loudly interrupting him and making Alluka laugh, “Have you eaten yet?” His face turned pink as he smiled back at her.

“No, I haven’t eaten dinner yet.” She giggled

Killua stretched and yawned as he slowly got himself up out of bed. “I’ll go get us something then.” He walked towards the bathroom, “While I’m gone you should try and pack everything up. We’re leaving in the morning okay.” He entered the bathroom and quickly cleaned himself up. 

“Okay!” Alluka called back to him as she flopped down in the bed. “He looks soo much happier~” Alluka smiled to herself as she whispered to Nanika. 

“Aye!” Nanika’s cheerful voice rung out in their head. 

They stayed like that until Killua made his way out of the bathroom, freshly showered and in a new set of clothes. He walked up to Alluka and sat on the bed beside her, “Can I talk to Nanika for a minute?”

“Sure!” Alluka’s face grew pale and her eyes grew dark, faster than Killua had ever seen, he was shocked for a moment before shaking his head and deciding to ignore it, maybe he really was still that tired. 

“Nanika? Make sure you and Alluka stay safe while I am gone. If anyone comes teleport them to the next town if no one does give me a hug when I get back okay.” 

“Aye!” Nanika smiled at him.

“Thank you, Nanika. And thank you for trying to help me the other day.” He ruffled their hair as he smiled back.

“I want to help Killua because I love Killua!” Nanika leaned forward and gave Killua a hug as they snuggled into him. 

“I love you too Nanika, both of you.” Killua hugged them back for a few moments before pulling away and standing up. “Okay. I’ll be back in an hour or so. Stay safe you two!”

“Aye!” Killua turned and walked towards the door.

“Okay!” He opened it and waved over his shoulder as he left, pausing only for a moment to make sure the door was locked behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Feel free to check out the hxhbb17 on Tumblr for more wonderful fics and tons of art!
> 
> Here's the art!  
> http://gonxkillualove.tumblr.com/post/161326611087/mattysones-my-piece-for-gonxkillualoves-fic  
> http://gonxkillualove.tumblr.com/post/161327586562/elvienyu-to-continue-the-rest-of-the-story


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